


Sneeze

by Twiona



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bored Jim, Comedy, Gen, Humour, Nicknames, sneeze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 14:46:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13250445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twiona/pseuds/Twiona
Summary: After a very long and tedious shift, Jim and Bones think of some way to amuse themselves. At Spock's expense, of course.I don't own Star Trek or any of the characters.





	Sneeze

Today was one of those quiet days where time seems to slow down and everything around you relaxes. Normally it's a very pleasant feeling, but in space when you're surrounded by nothing but your thoughts and the same jobs to do day in day out, it's mind numbingly boring.

Jim Kirk was bored and had nothing to do - the bridge was quieter than a tongue-tied librarian in a hybrid car. All his work had been completed for the day and the ship was casually cruising towards its next destination, but there was no hurry to get there.

When the bridge crew finished their shift, Jim rushed down to med bay to visit his grumpy southern friend. Hopefully things were more exciting down there.

The blond haired Captain strutted into Bones' office without knocking. The good doctor wasn't surprised by his lack of manners and without looking up from his PADD he wearily asked, "whadd'ya want now?"

"Nice to see you too Bones," Jim smirked, perching himself on the edge of the desk. "How are things down here? Nothing interesting has happened all day and I'm bored."

Bones looked up, feigning shock. "You? Bored?" He reached out and clutched Jim's shoulders dramatically, shaking him as he said "who are ya and what have you done with James Tiberius Perfect Hair?"

"You're going to ruin the perfect hair if you keep shaking me like that!"

"Well then it serves ya right for barging in my lair," Bones growled as he released him.

Jim smirked with amusement at his friend's antics but nevertheless reached up to pat his golden hair in a reassuring manner to make sure Bones didn't mess it up too much. Maybe there was more truth to his nickname than he was willing to admit.

"To answer yer question by the way, it's been boring as hell down here too," the Doctor drawled.

"Really? No emergencies, no accidents, nothing?" Jim enquired, genuinely surprised at the lack of excitement throughout the ship.

"Yup. Duller than a mute at a funeral." McCoy leaned back in his chair and pushed his PADD aside.

"We should do something fun, any ideas? Oh, and before you suggest marooning Spock on a deserted planet, that's not a valid suggestion."

"To be fair he did do that to you once," Bones mused, picking up an empty hypo and twirling it between his fingers absentmindedly.

Jim snorted a laugh.

"True, but I'd still rather do something else." Jim paused for a moment, deep in thought. 

"Captain, Doctor." Spock's monotone voice greeted them from the doorway. He was stood in his standard Vulcan pose with his hands behind his back and his face devoid of any discernible emotion. Bones and Jim knew Spock better than most people though, so they just managed to see a slight dullness in his eyes. Was Spock... bored?

"Hey Spock, how are you?" Jim tilted his head, expecting something important from his workaholic first officer.

Spock shuffled his weight between his feet before responding. "I am functioning adequately Captain. I was simply wondering if you and Doctor McCoy would like to perhaps join me for some 3D chess?"

"Why, Spock," Bones teased, "ya wouldn't be bored as well would ya?"

The half-Vulcan sighed quietly and said nothing. "I'll take that as a yes," the good doctor grinned victoriously.

"So 3D chess huh? That sounds good Spock but I think we should do something different, something new and exciting." Jim absentmindedly picked at his teeth with his tongue as he thought.

"He's a Vulcan, Jim. They don't do excitin'," Bones drawled, still amused by the fact that even Spock had managed to find today boring.

Jim playfully glared at his southern friend and muttered "shut up Bones."

Jim missed the equally snappy comment that Bones bit back with and sprung to his feet from his position on the edge of the desk. He absently noticed that he managed to make the other two people in the room jump in alarm at his sudden movement.

"I've got an idea! So everyone calls you Bones right," he began, not waiting for a confirmation as he continued speaking, "and almost everyone on the ship has started calling me James Tiberius Perfect Hair thanks to Scotty." Jim paused for a moment to allow a mischievous smirk to form on his face.

"Let's think of a nickname for Spock," Jim grinned as he pointed at the dark haired man still standing by the door.

Spock raised his eyebrow. "What would be the purpose of giving me a nickname? I already have a name that my parents gave me on the day of my birth. Additionally it is improper for a Starfleet-"

"How about we call him Buzz Killington?" Bones quipped, already liking this game.

"Or how about-"

"Captain. I do not require a nickname. There is nothing wrong with my given name so it is illogical to offer any alternative suggestions," Spock firmly told him.

Jim was disappointed but not surprised at Spock's lack of enthusiasm. "But c'mon buddy don't you want to be called something other than just _Spock?"_

Spock's face remained the same emotionless facade it always was but inside he felt quite offended that Jim had insulted his name. His parents had called him Spock because it means _"resembling half of each other's heart and soul"_ in Golic Vulcan. He knew how happy his mother used to be whenever she spoke about the origins of his name so he hated to hear his friend dismiss it so casually.

However, given his decision to pursue the Vulcan way of life, he prevented his anger from showing and just moved past the comment.

"Actually Captain my full name is longer but I made the logical choice to be referred to as Spock since humans find my full name almost impossible to pronounce."

Jim's eyes widened and his face blossomed into a cheesy grin. Challenge accepted.

"What is your full name?" Jim began to rub his hands together in excitement.

"My name is S'chn T'gai Spock."

Jim gave a puzzled expression as he tried to think of how he could tackle the extremely complicated sounding name. Bones just sat there muttering about how Spock got lucky that he didn't end up with Horatio as his middle name.

"Schhh... stchh... damn it," Jim spluttered. "Say it again, Spock."

It was now Spock's turn to look amused as Jim continued to mispronounce his name. He didn't understand why he was so adamant that he would 'get there eventually' when he didn't have the vocal cords necessary to say it correctly.

"Skchhh... stthhh..."

"S'chn!"

Both Spock and Jim turned their heads sharply to look at their hobgoblin-teasing friend who by some miracle had managed to correctly pronounce the first part of Spock's name. The southern doctor looked up at them sheepishly before sniffling and wiping his nose with a tissue.

"Sorry 'bout that, I sneezed."


End file.
